[welcome to my life] :)

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* Stay By Me *

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Thursday, March 30, 2006

are we really gone?>

dunno why.. but i am very affected with wj's new rumoured gf.. i really felt jealous when i read his blog.. yet i still cannot bring myself to commit into a relationship.. i think i'm really very selfish if i asked him to wait for me to become prepared for a relationship.. but den i really not used to having him not by my side.. i yearn for those days when he's by my side.. but i dun wan to get tie down.. so i guess single is the way for me..

i doubt i can get married before 24 liao..doubt i can be a full time homemaker too.. sighx... why am i like dat?!! keep contradicting myself with the things i wan...

best wishes in his new relationship..

best wishes in identifying wad i really wan.. hopefully not too long..

# posted by Ev3 | 3/30/2006 07:27:00 pm | 0 comments

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

scary>

It's scary when somebody treats you overly good.. apprEhension floods my mind..

# posted by Ev3 | 3/22/2006 03:29:00 pm | 0 comments

Saturday, March 18, 2006

i wish.. i wish..>

how i wish..

life is never smooth-sailing,
there will always be difficult times.
some people pulled through them,
some people flopped them.

what is your decision?
what is my decision?
are yOu riding over the waves,
or are you drowning in the sea?

i hope i am not drowning yet,
because i have many good friends who love me.
how's it possible that no one has troubles and problems?
we jus have to learn how to solve these adversities.

wad do you thInk?

gal gal is day-dreamin again.. sighx..

# posted by Ev3 | 3/18/2006 01:38:00 pm | 0 comments

Friday, March 17, 2006

haPPy bdae Loo..>

1st..
Let me wisH lOo haPPy 22nd bdae.. 1 year older means shld be more mature and can thInk wiser le.. made some jellies for Loo and clique.. that was meant to be a little present for Loo since i was too busy recently to shop for any present.. gLad that theY like the dessert becos i love them too.. buT seriously, he'll be the only guy within the group whom i will be willing to make him the jellies.. of cos, i will oso make my dear gals if they are craving for any food too.. hMm.. i can make cheesecake and jellies.. =) haHa.. i will definetely make a good housewife in future..

Seriously speakiNG, i feel extremely out of place in the group.. joining a clique is indeed not easy.. i feel really tired of blending in with them and at times, i feel discouraged.. becos i simply cant be my natural self when i'm with them.. i thiNk i shld jus forget abt blending in.. rather, i shld just do the things and go the way that i think are more appropriate.. i seriously shldnt force myself, creatin so many problems for me..

ah gaL shld jus do wad she wants to..

# posted by Ev3 | 3/17/2006 07:11:00 pm | 0 comments

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Busy week ahead>

I'm starting to hate myself and the world.. I'm no longer the haPPy gal that I used to be in the past.. I have noticed the change ever since I came NUS.. It seems that the stressful environment is taking away alot of things from me.. my smile, my complexion, and my friends are gone.. wad came into exchange for those are merely stress and evilness..

I care alot about my inner feelings.. I cant describe properly who I am now because I oso dunno myself.. I'm still searching the current me.. who can I talk to with all these? practically no one in uni.. and when i turn to my Jc friends, i realised that they wun noe how i feel though they will be able to lend me their ears..

What is happening to mE?! I hate to be the gal now.. i dun like myself.. its jus not ME at all.. where did the innocent and chirpy gal go to?? where?? can i find her back? i think sooner or later i'll jus gonna break down.. every single day now is a misery and its painful to know that i hav no solution to it.. I really cant help but hate myself..

I hate Nus.. I hate to grow up.. I hate everything..

Perhaps i shld go back church.. at least it will help to calm me down and give me a better idea on who i am now..

gal will get crazy soon..

# posted by Ev3 | 3/16/2006 08:37:00 pm | 0 comments

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

ChuBbY cHuBBy!!>

i'M so chUBby Now.. Very very sad.. thInk recently really eat too much le ba.. face got roUnder le.. miLlion siGhx.. ARGGggg!!! i waNt to rUN... run.. buT nO motivatIon leh.x... maMa.. please give me some motivation ba..

Jus aPplied for Sheares hall as 1st choiCE.. will I get in? hmm.. jus pray for the best ba..

Projects are piLing up.. buT i'm still slackiNg.. shUcks..

Byex..

How nice If I can jus dream and do nothin..

Gal dun wan to grow up..

# posted by Ev3 | 3/14/2006 07:24:00 pm | 0 comments

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Week 8>

sO fast a week has passed..

recaLled

Monday 06/03/06

Tutorials and lectures for the whole day.. only realised during the Finance tut that we hav a test on the following week.. but luckily Moses said he will postphone it.. den went FS with the gang after the lecture for a small supper.. fUn pple.. but keep kena suan by no reason.. ok.. perhaps i shld learn how to not get agitated and make peace.. hmm..

Tuesday 07/03

woke up go sch for tut at 1pm.. den stayed in sch to do some self-studying.. went Mac saw wJ.. had dinner with him.. den went CBLC saw ReinA.. accompanied her eat dinner before i went back to continue doing my writing 3.. thanx JR for helping me to do the outline.. went home at around 11pm.. met bao shan on the bus den realised that netball training only end so late.. kinda shocked.. chatted with her abt some last time stuffs.. home sweet home.. continued my writing until 3am.. Sweet dreams..

Wednesday (08/03)

i shld be out with JB to watch movie at cine.. but he stood me up.. VerY verY anGRy!!! cos he's sleeping at home when i'm at orchard.. and he dint pick up my call.. so how do i noe he's sleepin? becos i called his hse.. den his father said he's sleepin.. funny ar.. first time someboday flew my kite until i so angry lehx.. took bus home.. angry for the whole day.. was wondering if i shld go for yun long's bdae celebration at momo.. becos dint buy any present for him.. but still went at the last min.. nice partying..

pple who went are me, reina, yvonne, huiyi, cody, kenny, jr, loo, hongjie, matthew and ronald.. hmm.. rather shocked when i first saw jr lighting a ciagarette.. cos he doesnt look like he smoke one.. and my impression for him is he's quite guai.. buT... guessed i'm wrong..

got very very extremely sad and disappointed when i see loo smokin.. i feel like slapping him.. dunno whether if he's too drunk or wad.. super stubborn la.. jus dun wan to stop smoking even after reina and I keep snatching away his ciagarettes.. angry lehx..

Group Photo when they were still sane

yvonne, kenny, ronald

this is when they have all became a little high and insane..
(from left) JR, Ronald, Kenny and loo
Behind is Yun Long (kinda gone)

we are the more sane group.. =)
(from left) me, yvonne, kenny, reina, huiyi and ronald

Me and Sweet ReiNa

From left: huiyi, me and reina

Thursday (07/03)

reached home at 2am last night.. fell asleep at 4am.. woke up at 8am for the law lecture.. everybody looks shagged and tired.. me thighs ache like mad.. cant walk very well.. den went lecture as usual and after that dance lesson.. BYOL is tonight.. Reina and Audrey are performing.. thInk reina super shagged la.. still hav to perform today.. dint go to BYOL.. but heard that it was good..

had dinner with the guys den went to chinatown partyworld for a small JC gathering.. pple there include sharmen, zhi hao, derrick, kelvin, sher ying and me.. dint sing for a super long time.. den so happy dat they hav this gathering at partyworld.. think i keep hogging the mike.. cos alot of duets.. den sher ying dunno how to sing.. so became i sing... sing until 12am den took cab home..

i refused to admit that i miss him..

Friday (10/03)

Lessons as usual until 2pm.. den thought i can go interview Christina.. but when she saw the questions she told me she cant answer them.. i got a shock la.. even though this scenario has came across my mind before.. sighX.. looking at the deadline for the IP is coming nearer but i still dun hav the person to interview.. very worried now.. sobx sobx..

Arggg.. i feel so angry with myself.. becos of this interview i asked somebody to replace my usher duty.. i oso skipped the DE Club celebration dinner since i dun hav the mood to go.. felt really tired.. went home from town and ssleep..

that's my week.. did i play too much?

Gal afraid to grow up..

# posted by Ev3 | 3/11/2006 02:05:00 pm | 0 comments

Saturday, March 04, 2006

4/3/06

haVe been rather bus with alot of things.. dun really noe wad i am doing also.. i seem to always be in a daze.. sighx. biz com is making me mad.. collection of money for the biz comm shirt is kinda crazy.. so many pple were like nowhere to be seen, den how chould i collect? and the design of the shirt is really bad.. doubt i will wear it out..

projects are piling and my headache is gettin worse.. i shld really make good use of my time.. time management is certainly essential for undergrads..

had a good sleep last night..

3/3/06

conflicts seem to be all around.. and i dun wan to be involved in such games.. i'm neutral until i see it for myself..

for both the BU and Econs lecture, i wasnt really listening.. i dint noe wad i was doing there when i'm not listening.. feel rather wasting time.. angry with myself.. but i think the lecturer oso quite lousy la.. talk too much redundant stuff le.. almost felt asleep at the Econs lecture..

after Bu lccture, waited for Danny for a meetin.. but he was quite late.. one suggestion is he shld really plan for meetings.. cos last minute meetings really pissed pple off.. its really not nice to do that...

after meeting, zhihong, reina and i went for lunch.. strictly speaking its only me having lunch cos they had theirs already.. after lunch, we includin audrey got onto hongjie's car..but hongjie's car was already sitting jun rong and aubrey le.. its like 3 + 4 = 7 pple in a tiny car.. think the car seriously sunk .. but i was rather proud that we were able to sit so many in such small cars.. hEex..

went with them to seng siong to buy cartons of can drinks.. den after that we went to queensway to buy jr's present.. haPPy belated present...!!! he had been wanting to get the soccer boots for quite some time le.. den this time, we bring him there to buy.. thiNk from his expression, he liked it alot.. good gooD.. rushed back school for econs lecture..

dint had notes and sat there to listen.. in order to prevent myself from sleeping, i kept copying the notes from the ppt slides and tried to understand wad he's saying.. after lecture went back to sde comp lab to do some research.. coincidencely, saw wJ.. but dint say hi cos thought he dint see me.. but eventually said bye when he's leaving.. wad crap rite.. okk..

after that, HJ picked us up and later SY for dinner to clementi.. yvOnne and maT met us later.. had a nice dinner and proceeded home.. den very qiao.. met JR on the bus.. haHa..

thats all folks for the day..

gaL gaL is in daze.. dreaming over you...

# posted by Ev3 | 3/04/2006 12:42:00 pm | 0 comments