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* Stay By Me *

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Wednesday, June 28, 2006

i'm a stupid gal>

16th June

I'm in the office now.. too bored until i start imagining things.. wrote these silly stuffs..

I’m regretting now for giving him up.. I’m so dumb, unbelievably stupid.. How could I have let him go? How could i? why did I do that? ARGggg….. haix…..

He has everything tt I wanted yet I let him slip thru my fingers.. so easily giving him up.. I really love him before.. its jus that the feeling wasn’t sustained and before I knew it, I have lost it.. how come?! I could hav put in more effort to maintain the relationship de.. but why didn’t I do so? wHy? Cos loss of freedom? That’s a really lame excuse…

guess I dunno wad’s love ba..

I shld really stop looking back into my past.. stop regrettin the pple and the things that I hav given up.. maybe I shld look forward, know from this very minute that I am pursuing a future tt I wan.. I shld live without regrets, even if there are any, I shld jus forget them to reduce my misery and pain.. I want to live for the future and not live in the past… Lord, can u help me forget those unhappiness.. I want to live happily for myself..

# posted by Ev3 | 6/28/2006 10:38:00 am | 0 comments

Sunday, June 25, 2006

24th - 25th June>

24th june

today is Admission Day 2! early this month, they had the 1st admission whereby the response isnt good.. but the turnout for today is quite fantastic la.. and many pple queued up to sign for the FOC camp.. so happy!! kok sheng assigned me to be the official photographer but den it seems like many pple wan to shun away from me.. very shy freshies i hav ar.. ehh.. not bad la.. saw quite alot of chiobus.. but very few yandaos.. think SDE has very few eye candies.. it started at 9am and ended at abt 1230pm.. den quickly hurried to my next destination -UCC

Doing ushering from 1-5pm for this event called the Young Writers' Forum 2006.. its a rather unique event tt i hav came across ever since i started workin last year.. it was my first time working in the green room.. and my first time to experience such a small crowd.. the audience seemed very enthusiatic over the writings of the 5 panelists.. it almost ended late but luckily on time.. cos if not i will be late for my next event which i was supposed to report at 5pm

ok.. moved the super heavy metal pole down using the fire staircase to the FOH room by myself.. so proud of myself.. heehe.. den quickly went over to the pantry to join the rest for briefing.. but den the briefing has already ended le before i even reached..

this is an Indian event la.. cant remember nor able to pronounce the name of the event.. my given position is at the comm's door.. quite sad to be there.. cos it's very very tedious to just stand there without moving.. u noe how tired can ur legs be to stand on the sloping ground without moving?! i even have to try to keep my posture straight and not leaning on the walls.. sighx.. its really a very bad position.. den i was also being blocked by the very big and fat walls near the stage, so cant really see some of the dance movements.. Furthermore, as this is an indian dance performance, I am blasted with the super loud indian music for over 3 hrs..

i must say the indian gal is really fortunate to have such a big crowd with mostly influential pple to specially come to see her perform.. it is such a great honour.. really very envious of her.. she mentioned tt her parents are very encouraging towards her passion for dance and i felt rather sad.. cos i feel that my parents arent like hers.. but well.. she is just lucky to have 2 doctorates as parents lor..

ok.. the event ended quite late, later than expected.. den got taxi claim.. hehe.. but wad happened after the performance ended was chaotic la.. i hav yet to see sth more absurd than this.. firstly, cake was brought into the hall from backstage to celebrate the indian gal's bdae.. i think they really wanted to cut the cake and eat it inside the hall.. okay.. secondly, the performers and backstage crew could actually go up and down of the stage easily after the performance ended... i understand tt it is a family party thinggie but then safety is very impt ba.. so long as they are safe and sound, they want to go up and down we oso hav no choice..

the team A's de-briefing is quite scary la.. firstly chuhua asked for confessions.. den got abit stunned.. like how come will hav confessions one?! next, chu hua with a very serious look, continued to throw us with many questions.. like wad's the max no.of seats tt the hall and theatre can hold? and etc etc.. den she oso told off many of the teamA's juniors abt the actions tt they aint supposed to do.. blah blah blah.. and whole thing lasted for abt 20 - 30 mins ba.. quite cham..

after the de-brief, i seriously feel extremely lucky to be in team C and not team A.. team C is still the most fun and friendly team.. after debrief we celebrated chih chun's bdae.. den took cab back with shannon, peixi, and chu hua.. hmm.. reached home abt 1220am.. den ate some leftover food for supper and washed up..

despite the tiredness, i still continued watching the magicians of love eps 17-19 until around 4am.. connection is rather weak so took quite long to finish watching.. went sleep at abt 4 plus am..

26th june

woke up at 10am becos of derrick's call.. bleahs... den my eyes were surprisingly not tired and i dun feel sleepy too even though i only sleep for 5 hrs..

supposed to go pulau ubin but becos of the rain we changed plan.. we went to settler's cafe instead.. met at 2pm at clarke quay.. pple who went include lai bun, de ming, chong beng, jie sheng, derrick, wen long, hui ying, kaijie and vincent.. 10 of us in total..

den we walked to chinatown to drink some tea at the yam cha restaurent.. ate some dian xin there.. den deming footed the bill and contributed 50 bucks while we spilt the cost for the rest of the amount.. hmm.. paid only abt 3 bucks each...

hy has to go first so we sent her to the bus stop.. den the rest of us walked to clarke quay.. we went to this safra and slacked there a while before we went settlers' cafe.. had our dinner there and played from 530-9pm..

derrick sent me home and i reached at abt 10pm..

it is an enjoyable and memorable outing!!!

yeahh.. another successful outing.. so proud of myself.. ehehe

# posted by Ev3 | 6/25/2006 11:18:00 pm | 0 comments

Friday, June 23, 2006

Holidays are meant to go out and work?>

13th - 16th june

working at five stars seem to become something very routine.. everyday go work at 10am.. den wait for lunch at around 1pm.. after lunch, will always feel very sleepy.. tendacy is will fall asleep while typin... den at around 4pm, go toilet wash up and prepare to go home at 6pm.. it is so super routine until it is too boring le.. my life seems to be rotting away with all these wasted time.. haix.. i feel quite sad for myself.. why cant i find a job that i can learn and earn simulataneously?

but there is one good pt abt this job la.. cos lancome always need to stand and i often work weekends.. so this job will complement that job as after i stand for two days, i will get to sit for 5 weekdays.. yeah.. in that way, my legs can hav some rest...

17th june

today works at lancome taka.. there is a glass house outside taka at the civic plaza.. target is high but i pia really hard for the sales.. at last, i managed to hit the target and earn a commission of 50 bucks for that day.. so in total i earn abt 90 bucks for that day.. quite happy.. how i wish everyday sales can be that good.. but think this will only happen during saturdays only ba..

18th june

working at taka lancome again.. very tired from all the standing and running to cashiers. so today abit more slack.. not so hardworking like yesterday.. anyway, there aint many customers oso la.. dint hit target cos it is too high le.. went back home with a commission of 28 bucks.. only half of wad i hav got for yesterday.. sighx.. can go eat grass le..

# posted by Ev3 | 6/23/2006 02:50:00 am | 0 comments

Everyday i am...>

haVen been blogging for quite sometime.. think i'm too busy with my work and feelings..

i must admit that i was nv good with relationships.. in fact, all my relationships failed becos of my impulsiveness..

i really shld do some reflections on my actions and learn from the mistakes i have made in every relationships..

oTherwise, i will probably either end up with the wrong guy or nv be able to get married... rememeber? i wanted to be married by 24...

okay.. well.. my hols have been quite okay la.. except for the fact that i'm too busy working until i dun really hav time to play and enjoy myself.. guess my only entertainment is to watch taiwan dramas or simply just going dinner with friends.. that's probably abt it...

hmm.. let me see wad i can recall...

12th june

straight after work at Five Stars, i went to serangoon interchange to meet yZ to go chomp chomp together...

min and her bf (Jady) joined us later...

we were sitting outside the hawker centre, where the big umbrellas were.. den at our table there's this sign that read "smoking is allowed".. right beside us was this group of pple who smoke.. i really really cant stand one of the gals la.. so super arrogant jus becos that sign supports smoking.. so shitty.. simply can tolerate her behaviour.. its all these irresponsible smokers that made us non-smokers the victim of passive smoking.. bleahx.... how can we ever get the smokers out from our lives when all these signs simply encourage them to smoke.. the authorities shld think abt it..

okay well.. affter dinner, jaDy sent us to min's place, where me and yz stayed over for the night..

reached her home at around 9 plus pm.. borrowed her clothes and bathed.. as usual, her house is full of snacks and ice-cream.. den she got me a glass of ribena and got yz some chocolate ice-cream..

after that, we went into her room to watch the magicians of love.. it is the latest taiwan drama serials aka ou xiang ju that is very popular.. hehex.. think i'm too tired so i fell asleep while watching...

den min's mum came home with some pepper crabs and fried rice as supper.. cool.. very long nv eat pepper crab le.. very nicely cooked and simply delicious.. fattening though.. tried some fried rice too.. yummy...

after supper, continued to watch the magicians of love but den fell asleep after a while.. me so pIg ritex.. hahax..

woke up next morning at abt 8am.. den yz and min complained that i keep kicking them and i almost occupied the whole bed.. ops.. i'm really sorry gals.. but i think i really cannot remember wad i did lehx.. think next time u gals can jus let me sleep one corner, i promise i will not kick le.. =)

had some oats for breakfast den hurried to go for work...

work is boring and i almost fell asleep after my lunch.. really tired...

11th june

had work at taka lancome.. working mid shift from 12-8pm.. but den bugis lacked manpower so i hav to go bugis after my work at 8pm.. i'm fine with it la.. cos there's OT paid.. heex..

sales not good but still acceptable.. very miserable commission but at least better than nothing..1171 at taka and 349 at bugis..

5-6th june

PrE Camp Day 1

changed into our dirty clothes and played some games in NUS.. hmm.. there are a few stations that i thought was quite fun.. for instance, the one that we played at the central library was not bad.. but overall i feel that the games are a little too clean le.. meaning there's only sweat and nothing else on us.. think they shld prepare some flour and water on the actual foc camp..

Day 2

stayed over at the de club room for the night before we went to sentosa for amazing race.. sadly, when we reached there, it started raining..
so everythin didnt turned out well.. we hav no choice but to play the games indoor..around 430pm, we were den dismissed from there..

3rd June

Pre-admission day

the turnout rate is unexpectedly low.. i was rather shocked to see that only around 15 pple turned up for the admission day.. seriously i think there were more seniors than freshies.. luckily they told us that many had not recieved their acceptance letter yet so didnt know abt this admission day.. there is a total of 15 freshies who has paid either a deposit or the full sum for the orienatation camp.. i know tt it is really quite little la.. but knowing that there aint many pple who came in the first place, 15 is already quite good le..

kok sheng and meisi told me a very stunning news.. something tt i have yet to agree with.. sighx... rag is another BIG headache..

after the admission day, took bus to golden mile cplx to five stars to work.. cos i haven finished some stuff that they need to use on the coming thurs.. den mon and tues me on leave to foc camp.. so no choice but to come back on sat to finish it.. reached at abt 2 pm and work until 6pm..
home sweet home...

# posted by Ev3 | 6/23/2006 01:47:00 am | 0 comments

it's time to move on.. thank you for everythin..>

i have picked myself up and i think it is time that i let go..

In the first place, i have no rights to be angry with u..

So, i shldnt have been so impulsive to scold u..

now that u've already made ur decision, it's time that i make mine..

i shall move on and be the gal who i used to be...

thank you for all the good memories..

# posted by Ev3 | 6/23/2006 01:36:00 am | 0 comments

Monday, June 05, 2006

i dunnoe why things turn out like dat>

You are the only guy who has made me cry and u shall be the last..

# posted by Ev3 | 6/05/2006 09:49:00 pm | 0 comments

why does things turn out like dat?>

I like u so much..so much so that i threw away my dignity and arrogance.. yet u simply jus reject the love i hav for u.. i only wan to be with u, its just that simple.. i know i am in no position do anything now.. and since u already controlled yourself to be with me.. den now i'm nothing in ur eyes.. i'm just a nobody.. this excruciating feelin no one will ever understand.. NObody will...

am i able to let u go? am i? i noe it is a sin to yearn to be with u again, but i really like u alot, i really do.. i was nv so sure of my feelin before..

i dun wan to let u go initially.. but now u hav really hurt me deeply.. i am in pain, great pain..

Somebody help me.. i really hav to let him go le..

# posted by Ev3 | 6/05/2006 09:38:00 pm | 0 comments